Felt like it has been a while since I last updated my blog. Work, plus S was in town last week and to be fair after the 'Big Night Out' on Saturday (first one after NYE), I'm only starting to feel like human again.
It's funny how one's action and mind affects each other. The power of trill and wanting to get the next buzz, somehow clouds up your thoughts and your capabilities of deciding what is right and what is wrong.
Frankly, is not as bad as it sound and not even close to 'Requiem For A Dream'! I promised! But being always wanting to be in control and always conscious of myself... having to relive the experience is something I dreaded most. Seeing myself in the mirror, walking out from a club in the wee hours of the morning, stares you get on a tube, spending the rest of the day like a zombie in total darkness... Are these than the trill and buzz I'm chasing for?
I'm not angel and I'm also not condemning anyone. Who am I to judge?! The experience is fascinating and fun, and with close friends around you, at least you know you are safe. But it's a fine line between recreational and habitual... It's a fine line between enjoyment and silliness.
By blogging this down will be a testament to myself that I will be responsible for all my actions and will always live my Life with absolute dignity and respect.
It's funny how one's action and mind affects each other. The power of trill and wanting to get the next buzz, somehow clouds up your thoughts and your capabilities of deciding what is right and what is wrong.
Frankly, is not as bad as it sound and not even close to 'Requiem For A Dream'! I promised! But being always wanting to be in control and always conscious of myself... having to relive the experience is something I dreaded most. Seeing myself in the mirror, walking out from a club in the wee hours of the morning, stares you get on a tube, spending the rest of the day like a zombie in total darkness... Are these than the trill and buzz I'm chasing for?
I'm not angel and I'm also not condemning anyone. Who am I to judge?! The experience is fascinating and fun, and with close friends around you, at least you know you are safe. But it's a fine line between recreational and habitual... It's a fine line between enjoyment and silliness.
By blogging this down will be a testament to myself that I will be responsible for all my actions and will always live my Life with absolute dignity and respect.
1 comment:
RESPECT!
That would be why you went home so early last night.. we were all thinking of going to Barcode.. then again I am glad we didnt, I would be tied to the toilet this morning puking & feeling like death!
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