The test result is out! Finally after all these years, I was always wondering what was wrong with me! Never knew until today! It's official now! I belong to the RA Group! The Romantic Anonymous Group! I am addicted to Romance! Just like someone from the AA... In RA, one needs Romance to make one fulfilled! One needs Romance to make one complete!
2 more hours to the end of my 34 years in this wee world! Approaching 35... A grand old age! A brand new stage of my life and a new beginning I like to say to myself! Looking back... after all these years of searching, learning, working, experiencing... been round parts of the world... new cities... new cultures... countless of sadness and happiness... tears and laughter... making new friends... losing old ones... meeting lovers... then losing lovers... family members come and go... What a journey!
Here I am... finally admitting to myself what has been wrong with me all these time. It took me all these years to finally get to where I am today. Able to come to terms with what has always been wrong with me... I am a Romance chaser! I am obsess with anything romantic! All means and ways of it!
What I have been contracted is one of the rareous form of illnesses. One that will make you always go chasing for 'Romancing Opportunities'! One that will make one go do sweet silly things and wonderful gestures... One that will make one go say lovely words... anything to make someone smile... anything to impress... anything to make someone go wow!
There are periods when the illness will take control of one's mind and body... Worst times are Birthdays, Anniversaries, Valentine's Day, and the illness reaches it's peek when comes Christmas! One loses oneself and totally immerse into the whole spirit of giving. And in between such important dates, one go search for any opportunities to create Romance.
Usually the symptoms are subtle... You do not usually aware of it's existence. One will go look for his or her receiver of Romance. When one find one prospector, one will get into the person's Life and paint a rainbow and turn it all spring and rosy.
Weekends away, chats in cafes, walks in the gallery, night ins, night outs, rummaging in markets, walks in the park, dinner for two at home, little notes, night at the theatre, shopping in the gaydom of Heals and Habitat, little pressies and surprises, quiet Sunday brunch over newspapers and easy listening music, the list goes on... All it takes is a bit a creativity and lots of love.
The problem in question is that one loses track of the receiver. The importance of having the RIGHT receiver for one addict determines the success rate of curing this illness. I am not saying that all my 'victims' or receivers were wrong or unworthy. I can only blame myself for picking them, going through all the romancing motions, just to fulfil my needs and desires.
If I'm lucky to make one believe in Love and Romance, one will reciprocate, but when one don't... I feel despair and disappointed. And when Romance runs dry... And when flaws and cracks surfaces... I take off and go look for another new romance, another new victim.
I almost feel sick writing all these down... am I really that seriously ill? Am I in the terminal stage and beyond cure? Is there a cure out there? Please tell me there is. Does anyone know of someone who has a cure for this addiction?
I think it's time for me to terminate this illness! I can't go on like this! When a better time than now before me embarking into a new stage of my Life!
"Hi everyone, My name is Ren and I'm a Romantic."
2 more hours to the end of my 34 years in this wee world! Approaching 35... A grand old age! A brand new stage of my life and a new beginning I like to say to myself! Looking back... after all these years of searching, learning, working, experiencing... been round parts of the world... new cities... new cultures... countless of sadness and happiness... tears and laughter... making new friends... losing old ones... meeting lovers... then losing lovers... family members come and go... What a journey!
Here I am... finally admitting to myself what has been wrong with me all these time. It took me all these years to finally get to where I am today. Able to come to terms with what has always been wrong with me... I am a Romance chaser! I am obsess with anything romantic! All means and ways of it!
What I have been contracted is one of the rareous form of illnesses. One that will make you always go chasing for 'Romancing Opportunities'! One that will make one go do sweet silly things and wonderful gestures... One that will make one go say lovely words... anything to make someone smile... anything to impress... anything to make someone go wow!
There are periods when the illness will take control of one's mind and body... Worst times are Birthdays, Anniversaries, Valentine's Day, and the illness reaches it's peek when comes Christmas! One loses oneself and totally immerse into the whole spirit of giving. And in between such important dates, one go search for any opportunities to create Romance.
Usually the symptoms are subtle... You do not usually aware of it's existence. One will go look for his or her receiver of Romance. When one find one prospector, one will get into the person's Life and paint a rainbow and turn it all spring and rosy.
Weekends away, chats in cafes, walks in the gallery, night ins, night outs, rummaging in markets, walks in the park, dinner for two at home, little notes, night at the theatre, shopping in the gaydom of Heals and Habitat, little pressies and surprises, quiet Sunday brunch over newspapers and easy listening music, the list goes on... All it takes is a bit a creativity and lots of love.
The problem in question is that one loses track of the receiver. The importance of having the RIGHT receiver for one addict determines the success rate of curing this illness. I am not saying that all my 'victims' or receivers were wrong or unworthy. I can only blame myself for picking them, going through all the romancing motions, just to fulfil my needs and desires.
If I'm lucky to make one believe in Love and Romance, one will reciprocate, but when one don't... I feel despair and disappointed. And when Romance runs dry... And when flaws and cracks surfaces... I take off and go look for another new romance, another new victim.
I almost feel sick writing all these down... am I really that seriously ill? Am I in the terminal stage and beyond cure? Is there a cure out there? Please tell me there is. Does anyone know of someone who has a cure for this addiction?
I think it's time for me to terminate this illness! I can't go on like this! When a better time than now before me embarking into a new stage of my Life!
"Hi everyone, My name is Ren and I'm a Romantic."
2 comments:
I used to be like that many many years ago. Over the years I have hide that emotion deep down in my heart. And I am not sure if it could be found again? Romantic emtions at times I made feel so lost and not focus.... my vision and blurred and i dun like it.
Actually, without this Romantic Emotion dominating my life, I feel more empowered. Cos I know i can never be hurt in this department again.
How many exclamation marks do you need? So excitable.... haha
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