Double Entry

No! Not that kind of double entry! I had two dates in one night... have never done it before until tonight!

I wasn't planning to. Was supposed to have three dates over three nights this week, just like last. Then when I was on my way to meet N, M got in touch wanting to meet up as well because M is busy now tomorrow.

So I did what any decent person will do... I met both of them! Not together of course!

Had a couple of drinks with N at South Bank. A good guy but don't think we will be more than just good friends... you just know sometimes.

Then said our goodbyes and went on to meet M in Soho. M on the other hand, more chatty than I expected and definitely has got that geeky chavy charm. Lol!

Oh how long more I've to do the dating scene?! Its definitely fun and great to know more people but its tiring too! So need to pace myself... maybe two dates during the week from now on :-)

The dating continues... but its time for bed now...

Spanish Salsa Dance Off 2007

What a trip I had in Barcelona! Great food, fabulous hotel, good weather, fantastic clubs and great company!

I went ahead with R for the trip. Wasn't sure at all in the beginning. The fact that we've just split up the week before was enough to set one's head shaking left to right. Had a few discussion about it but have both come to a conclusion that we are both adults, we both need a holiday, and we are good friends, so why not?!

It's strange when one decides to shut down in a relationship, you start to see everything in very different perspective. And what was I thinking?! Only kidding! Credit to R, he was a gentleman throughout the holiday. In fact we ended up opening up more to each other and was really frank of our thoughts about each other... well at least I was.

At the end of the holiday, it was a rather bitter sweet moment for us. The fact that we get along so well like fire, than why not one step further? Just one of those 'wasn't meant to be'...

Will always remember that night in the club when we salsa our way to win the 'Spanish Salsa Dance Off 2007' title. And for one Jew and a Ching to win the title over some South Americans in the dance floor... that's not mean feat! It was a great laugh and sweaty hot to say the least!

Thank you for a great holiday and all the good times over the last 4 months. We will always be friends and will probably be better friends from now on, but it's also time for me to walk away and begin the next chapter of my journey... So laters R.

Floral Stylist

Thanks to Fabien, I've been asked to help out with some floral work in a photo shoot today.

Love it! Truly love it! It's been a while since I last work with flowers when my course ended in June. At some point I was seriously thinking of shelving floristry and concentrate more on my career. But after today's mini assignment, kind of made me want to do more! The joy of working with flowers and be creative, its so much rewarding than my corporate job!

Well will definitely try to do more freelance work from now on. Just keep practising and do not stop completely. Floral Stylist? When the right time comes... who knows?!

Serial Dater

What can one do to get over a failed relationship?

Well one can try the good old reliable retail therapy. Take up a new hobby. Go travelling. Dust off your dancing shoes. Or re-establish your link with your friends again, whom I must say thanks to them, I am strong again. Basically there are lots to do except feeling sorry for yourself!

So I became a serial dater! For the last one week, I've arranged 4 dates. Two went ahead and the other two I've to cancel because it just proofed too much! I'm still learning the ropes :-)

It was great fun. All the preparations and anticipations, all the words, all the flirting going on throughout the evening, knowing someone new and knowing yourself again. It does make you realise how much you've lost yourself in the previous relationship. Knowing who you are and what you are looking for again. You always learned from your mistakes. You tend to be more careful with your feelings after each time but at the end of the day, you follow your heart. I do, maybe a bit too excessive but I do.

The 2 dates turn out to be really great! Two individuals with two different minds, personalities and no doubt two great decent persons. Would definitely love to see them again soon.

Before anyone start pointing finger, as you all know me better, I'm not one who is good at doing such things. So long as I know I'm not hurting anyone, that's where I draw the line. At the end of the day, we are only dating, so let's have some fun along the way!

And for those who are still trying to get over a relationship... Pick yourself up! Shake your pathetic self off! Trust me! There are definitely still more better fish to catch in the sea! Go fish!

There's No Place I'd Rather Be

After all these years of being away... All the travelling and now resite in London... As much as I agree with Fabien about all these brain washing propaganda, one way and is THE WAY, one sided 'democratic' shit... I can truly relate to the song this time.

I grew up in Singapore. My family, friends and memories belongs there. I've served my time in the army. I had my life's foundation build up there.

All these years of living in foreign countries has one hand taught me to be who I am today, to be strong and that I have a voice, but on the other it has also made me appreciate the cleaniness, the law and order and the efficiency of how the nation is being managed. We can't deny that.

The best way I can put this is that growing up in Singapore has taught me to be an open minded and humane person. To be able to understand what is right and what isn't. I appreciate the goodness in Life and at the same time will not support what it's wrong. All the so called supression has made me want to be free. All the negativity growing up has made me want to turn everything positive.

There's no place I'd rather be... for my friends and family.

Moving On

What an awesome day is was! Brighton Pride rocks! Thanks to my group of friends who has once again 'took' me in and make me feel and proved to me that there is more life than a relationship. To some point it reaches a hedonistic level (within my controllable level nevertheless) but it did make me feel free... feel of 'Love'. I know its just another form of escapism. A silly way but it did make me feel good.

Then I met up with the gang again. People that I've spent most of my last 4 months together. People that I've learned to know and care. A person that I've grown my fondness for. Someone whom I can call my friend. We laugh together and truly cares for each other. Isn't that what friendship is all about.

As cold as the fact about us, as much as the doubts and disappointments I'm feeling... is there Friendship after Relationship?

Friendship strong enough to be able to overlook our incompatibility? Friendship strong enough to accept that maybe some things are just not meant to be? Friendship strong enough that we can still go on a holiday together?

One side of me do want to go because we both need a holiday and I know we'll have fun together... but on the other hand, with all the fond memories of the holiday, wouldn't that make things more complicated. For me especially. Will I then be able to handle the fact that we are just good friends travelling together?

It's not easy. Sometime I wished for a On/Off switch but I'm not made like that.

4.52am

I can't sleep...

There's no such thing as a sane break up. Regardless of how mature you both are, there will always be hurt, disappointment and sadness. Regardless of the length of time spent, when one involves the heart, one is bound for heart break when relationship ends. Its only natural. Or is it? I wonder if he's up too?

The question is, how many of such mornings I've to endure till I find the One, whom will make me calm and sleep blissfully forever?

Can't help but feel like a twat! All these time, all the effort, my friends... yet again! I'm sorry guys...

Let's try to go to sleep now...

Finale

The time has come... yet again. I've pulled the plug.

It was unavoidable. All has been said. All has been done. In fact the sanest break up I've ever had.

We tried as you know but some things are just not meant to be. When it comes to relationship, we both have very different expectations and outlook. So why drag on and waste each other's time. We did try...

Looking back, one wonders why one choose to ignore signs. How one convince oneself that 'everything will be ok'... Why do I never listen to my first instinct? I should know better after all these time...

Disappointment for sure but its for the best I think... We will be friends for sure but just not more than that...

I'm feeling tired this time.