Another day... another year. Thank you all for your lovely wishes and to another great exciting year for all!
Friday, 7 March 2008
Birthday Bloom
Another day... another year. Thank you all for your lovely wishes and to another great exciting year for all!
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
HRENBC
How long more I have to do this? I sometimes feel like I'm a walking cash machine! I love her to bits but I can only provide so much.
Why should I be the only one providing for her while everyone can simply sit back and blame on their own incompetence in Life?! Why should I be the sensible one?! Why should I be the one with a conscience of wanting to lead my own Life with my two bare hands?! Where were the phone calls when I was on me own in Sydney working in a pie shop till 5am every weekend earning my own living expenses?! And now all these expectations that I should provide it's just not fair!
I have no qualms of providing for her, in fact I will do anything for her but I sometimes hope she'll understand that I don't have a Pound tree growing in my back yard. I have my Life here to lead and my future to plan for.
I wish those useless bums at home will get their act together and start pulling some weight! Will that day come after the last 20 years of waiting? I doubt so...
Why should I be the only one providing for her while everyone can simply sit back and blame on their own incompetence in Life?! Why should I be the sensible one?! Why should I be the one with a conscience of wanting to lead my own Life with my two bare hands?! Where were the phone calls when I was on me own in Sydney working in a pie shop till 5am every weekend earning my own living expenses?! And now all these expectations that I should provide it's just not fair!
I have no qualms of providing for her, in fact I will do anything for her but I sometimes hope she'll understand that I don't have a Pound tree growing in my back yard. I have my Life here to lead and my future to plan for.
I wish those useless bums at home will get their act together and start pulling some weight! Will that day come after the last 20 years of waiting? I doubt so...
Saturday, 1 March 2008
First One And Counting
Our first tiff. Finally! Hardly dramatic but was definitely significant and memento for both of us.
From start to finish... a lot has been said and discussed. It takes a lot for D to be this expressive and me was just being my high maintenance self. Yes I've said it! I am high maintenance! I admit it now after all these years!
It takes a lot for one to know each other. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes effort. It takes respect and feeling for each other. For us all, getting together is easy but it's the behaviour and thinking of a couple, how we 'live' together that we need to learn and get used to.
We are all individual and independent adults. Both lead very different life style before. Both expresses differently and both have very different experiences and expectations when it comes to relationships, and hence all relationships are different. There are no fixed rules, patterns or time line for one relationship to be based on. It's a combination of you both that creates your uniquely formed partnership.
All that has been said did not just make me know and understand D so much more, respecting him more and bringing our relationship to the next level, but it has also helped me in vanishing that 'ghost' of mine. The one that has haunted me over the past few years.
From all previous failed relationships, it has always been just one disappointment after another. Mainly due to my very own high expectations, living in my own bubble and sugar coating every possible ways. The inability to trust based on not being able to trust myself and at the same time not able to get the level of assurance and comfort from those persons.
D have single handedly changed all that and I can see and feel the change in me too. Maybe it's because of age. Being more grown up now makes you think, behave and respect yourself differently. We are all still learning and growing up but I'm just glad that I've met D at this stage of my adult life.
From start to finish... a lot has been said and discussed. It takes a lot for D to be this expressive and me was just being my high maintenance self. Yes I've said it! I am high maintenance! I admit it now after all these years!
It takes a lot for one to know each other. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes effort. It takes respect and feeling for each other. For us all, getting together is easy but it's the behaviour and thinking of a couple, how we 'live' together that we need to learn and get used to.
We are all individual and independent adults. Both lead very different life style before. Both expresses differently and both have very different experiences and expectations when it comes to relationships, and hence all relationships are different. There are no fixed rules, patterns or time line for one relationship to be based on. It's a combination of you both that creates your uniquely formed partnership.
All that has been said did not just make me know and understand D so much more, respecting him more and bringing our relationship to the next level, but it has also helped me in vanishing that 'ghost' of mine. The one that has haunted me over the past few years.
From all previous failed relationships, it has always been just one disappointment after another. Mainly due to my very own high expectations, living in my own bubble and sugar coating every possible ways. The inability to trust based on not being able to trust myself and at the same time not able to get the level of assurance and comfort from those persons.
D have single handedly changed all that and I can see and feel the change in me too. Maybe it's because of age. Being more grown up now makes you think, behave and respect yourself differently. We are all still learning and growing up but I'm just glad that I've met D at this stage of my adult life.
It's truely a journey and it will never be easy but I'm very confident that it will be an enjoyable one.
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Hamam
This recent trip to Istanbul finally fulfill my long time 'dream' of visiting a proper traditional hamam. As previous blog mentioned, I've discovered, learned and appreciated this time round in this charming city so much more, hence visiting a hamam was one of the 'got to dos' for me.
I've always heard interesting stories of hamam visits. The funny ones, good and the bad ones, and the sleazy ones but regardless I was determined. Took the chance of D having to attend a conference call in the hotel (D wasn't interested. I wonder why? :-), had my recommendations from the Concierge, my map, and off I went. It didn't take me long to find the place, as this hamam happened to be right in the city centre and a well historic and popular one in Istanbul. I can feel the whole scene of 'Chinky face, don't speck Turkish, let's charge him loads and give him poor service' appearing in my head. With all these thick moustache, massively fat hairy men laughing all over me. But I refused to let all these defeat me. Guarded with my Lonely Planet that explains all the 'to dos' when in a hamam, I took a deep breath and walked in.
Tarihi Galastasaray Hamami (Opened since 1824) is one of the city's best, with lots of Moorish marble design all over the internal wall of the building. You walked into this beautiful court yard with a fountain right in the middle. The whole place echos of water droplets and traditional zen like sounding Turkish music. It was still early when I arrived so it was really quiet. When you look up the court yard, all you can see was a massive stair well with three floors of small cubicles skirting around it.
Then a rather skinny attendant came over, showed me a menu of services in Japanese and English (Here we go! I can still hear the laughter in my head). He tried to explain to me each one means and consist of. And I've decided to go for the whole works. The use of the hamam, scrub down, massage and soap bath. All paid for and I couldn't wait!
I was then shown to a dressing cubicle. Got changed to the given bath wrap (a thin sarong) and slipped into the clickety wooden clogs, which was 3 sizes bigger (wasn't even trying to attempt to ask for the right size for me). An attendant then leads me through the cool room, and told me to wait. Sat there and just when I was feeling a bit chilly with only my skimpy sarong, the thick door pushes opened and here walked in this short big bellied and hairy body Turk, old enough to be my great uncle pointed at me to the other room (At that very moment, my hamam fantasy bubble burst into the thin air!) He pushes the thick wooden door and here we walked into the hot room where you sit and sweat for a while. This apparently helps you relax and loosen up your body, mind and skin. This room is in a massive circular shape with marble basin dotted around with cold and hot water taps. Separate washing areas were also found in four corners of the room. Right in the centre is this huge square raised platform atop the heating source. My Harry (I decided to name him that) then laid a thin sarong over the platform, made a low sound and pointed me to lie down (I wasn't even trying to ask him why). He left the room and I lied there for almost twenty minutes. Looking up, it was a huge dome shape like ceiling with windows looking through to the sky. Droplets of condensation was dropping from the top to the marble platform, soothing Turkish music was echoing in the background, I was literally being steamed like a fish on the marble top, sweating my hearts out, falling asleep. Enjoying the feeling. Feeling liked I was one of the princes having my daily pampering session
Then I heard foot steps. The clogs were coming closer. I know Harry is coming to get me! He walked in, pointed at one of the marble sink and got me to go over. He mumbled something, turned on the water taps and started douses me with warm water, lathers me with a soapy sudsy swab. I was literally shampooed all over. My hair, my face, body and legs. More douses of warm water followed. Next I was scrubbed with a coarse cloth mitten loosening dirt that I've never thought I would have and seen ever before. Dark dirt and dead skin was peeling off from me from his rather aggressive scrubbing. Its was painful and pleasurable at the same time (I was only hoping then for a hunky Turkish guy doing that to me). Wasn't trying hard to contain my laughter while my mind was slipping off to you gals with me, giggling our heads off.
When the scrubbing ended, he pointed me back to the marble platform, instructed me to lie facing down (By then Harry and I have already established the common way of sign language in a hamam). He started soaping me up again, but this time working on massaging my legs, arms, hands and back. I felt like a steamed skinned white chicken on a chopping board. He is now hurting me on parts of my body that I never thought of pressing and adding pressure on. Every muscle contours of my body, Harry's hands were over them, rubbing and 'soothing' them with his thick hands and fingers. Turning my legs and arms into weird positions and there I lied helplessly at the mercy of his expertise.
And I was then instructed to turn around (Hmm ;-), he started working on my front concentrating on my chest and stomach (Where is my dreamed hunky Turkish guy?!). At one point I thought my intestines were gonna tangled with the way he was rubbing my stomach like a baklava or bread dough.
Before you knew it, it was finally over. The massage I meant! I was ushered back to the wash basin, sat me down and Harry started lathering up this huge pot of soapy water with this long stringy cloth mitten. I never thought you can create so much bubble by doing that. With one swift action using his arms and with the help of the mitten, he scooped up a huge chunk of the bubble and started bubble bath me down again. I felt and looked like a giant snow man in bubbles!
With a few more douses of warm water, I was done! Cleaned should I say!
Was then ushered back to the cool room, another attendant came in with dry towels and even tower dry me in the most unusual and efficient way. Wrapped me around with the towel, including my head, walked me out to the court yard once again, sat me down by the fountain and offered me a small glass of hot Turkish tea.
Sitting there relaxing and reminiscing of the whole experience. Looking up the big stair well and all the cubicles around, imagining all the chatting, chest playing, men catching up with each other of their daily lives, transporting me back to the old times when hamam was just a way of life. With now the city growing and modernising, more and more hamams are shutting down due to low usage. Only the older generations are using them and they have to rely greatly on the tourism trade now a days.
I've always heard interesting stories of hamam visits. The funny ones, good and the bad ones, and the sleazy ones but regardless I was determined. Took the chance of D having to attend a conference call in the hotel (D wasn't interested. I wonder why? :-), had my recommendations from the Concierge, my map, and off I went. It didn't take me long to find the place, as this hamam happened to be right in the city centre and a well historic and popular one in Istanbul. I can feel the whole scene of 'Chinky face, don't speck Turkish, let's charge him loads and give him poor service' appearing in my head. With all these thick moustache, massively fat hairy men laughing all over me. But I refused to let all these defeat me. Guarded with my Lonely Planet that explains all the 'to dos' when in a hamam, I took a deep breath and walked in.
Tarihi Galastasaray Hamami (Opened since 1824) is one of the city's best, with lots of Moorish marble design all over the internal wall of the building. You walked into this beautiful court yard with a fountain right in the middle. The whole place echos of water droplets and traditional zen like sounding Turkish music. It was still early when I arrived so it was really quiet. When you look up the court yard, all you can see was a massive stair well with three floors of small cubicles skirting around it.
Then a rather skinny attendant came over, showed me a menu of services in Japanese and English (Here we go! I can still hear the laughter in my head). He tried to explain to me each one means and consist of. And I've decided to go for the whole works. The use of the hamam, scrub down, massage and soap bath. All paid for and I couldn't wait!
I was then shown to a dressing cubicle. Got changed to the given bath wrap (a thin sarong) and slipped into the clickety wooden clogs, which was 3 sizes bigger (wasn't even trying to attempt to ask for the right size for me). An attendant then leads me through the cool room, and told me to wait. Sat there and just when I was feeling a bit chilly with only my skimpy sarong, the thick door pushes opened and here walked in this short big bellied and hairy body Turk, old enough to be my great uncle pointed at me to the other room (At that very moment, my hamam fantasy bubble burst into the thin air!) He pushes the thick wooden door and here we walked into the hot room where you sit and sweat for a while. This apparently helps you relax and loosen up your body, mind and skin. This room is in a massive circular shape with marble basin dotted around with cold and hot water taps. Separate washing areas were also found in four corners of the room. Right in the centre is this huge square raised platform atop the heating source. My Harry (I decided to name him that) then laid a thin sarong over the platform, made a low sound and pointed me to lie down (I wasn't even trying to ask him why). He left the room and I lied there for almost twenty minutes. Looking up, it was a huge dome shape like ceiling with windows looking through to the sky. Droplets of condensation was dropping from the top to the marble platform, soothing Turkish music was echoing in the background, I was literally being steamed like a fish on the marble top, sweating my hearts out, falling asleep. Enjoying the feeling. Feeling liked I was one of the princes having my daily pampering session
Then I heard foot steps. The clogs were coming closer. I know Harry is coming to get me! He walked in, pointed at one of the marble sink and got me to go over. He mumbled something, turned on the water taps and started douses me with warm water, lathers me with a soapy sudsy swab. I was literally shampooed all over. My hair, my face, body and legs. More douses of warm water followed. Next I was scrubbed with a coarse cloth mitten loosening dirt that I've never thought I would have and seen ever before. Dark dirt and dead skin was peeling off from me from his rather aggressive scrubbing. Its was painful and pleasurable at the same time (I was only hoping then for a hunky Turkish guy doing that to me). Wasn't trying hard to contain my laughter while my mind was slipping off to you gals with me, giggling our heads off.
When the scrubbing ended, he pointed me back to the marble platform, instructed me to lie facing down (By then Harry and I have already established the common way of sign language in a hamam). He started soaping me up again, but this time working on massaging my legs, arms, hands and back. I felt like a steamed skinned white chicken on a chopping board. He is now hurting me on parts of my body that I never thought of pressing and adding pressure on. Every muscle contours of my body, Harry's hands were over them, rubbing and 'soothing' them with his thick hands and fingers. Turning my legs and arms into weird positions and there I lied helplessly at the mercy of his expertise.
And I was then instructed to turn around (Hmm ;-), he started working on my front concentrating on my chest and stomach (Where is my dreamed hunky Turkish guy?!). At one point I thought my intestines were gonna tangled with the way he was rubbing my stomach like a baklava or bread dough.
Before you knew it, it was finally over. The massage I meant! I was ushered back to the wash basin, sat me down and Harry started lathering up this huge pot of soapy water with this long stringy cloth mitten. I never thought you can create so much bubble by doing that. With one swift action using his arms and with the help of the mitten, he scooped up a huge chunk of the bubble and started bubble bath me down again. I felt and looked like a giant snow man in bubbles!
With a few more douses of warm water, I was done! Cleaned should I say!
Was then ushered back to the cool room, another attendant came in with dry towels and even tower dry me in the most unusual and efficient way. Wrapped me around with the towel, including my head, walked me out to the court yard once again, sat me down by the fountain and offered me a small glass of hot Turkish tea.
Sitting there relaxing and reminiscing of the whole experience. Looking up the big stair well and all the cubicles around, imagining all the chatting, chest playing, men catching up with each other of their daily lives, transporting me back to the old times when hamam was just a way of life. With now the city growing and modernising, more and more hamams are shutting down due to low usage. Only the older generations are using them and they have to rely greatly on the tourism trade now a days.
I can only wish that the hamam which has been going on for centuries will persevere and open for a lot more centuries to come! The ancient form of Spa. What a treat!
Sunday, 17 February 2008
More Than Words
You know there are times when you just can't simply describe how you feel exactly?Times when you just wanna squeeze and hug him so tight and close to you?
Times when the sight of him make you smile and warmth in your heart?
Times when you have so much to tell him but a blink and a smile was all it takes?
Times when he make you want to be a better person?
Times when you fear so much that all of these are too good to be true?
Adele & Duffy
Go have a listen!
Adele. Soulful singer and a great album named 19. Sounds like a cross between Amy Winehouse & Corinne Bailey Rae
Duffy. Unique and beautiful voice that lingers in your head. Single 'Mercy' make you wanna swing and dance.
East Meets West
A city where East meets West - Istanbul. Stunning place. The last time I was here was 11 years ago. Visiting the city again brought back memories and felt all grown up as well. My appreciation of this city is so different from before. Then it was just another city with bad traffic, ugly looking old buildings, minimum English speaking, loads of ancient history, makets that sells everything and anything but nothing caught my interest and a city which was just not quite like home Singapore. So young and ignorant I was.
Coming back again, the traffic both on land and sea is still as bad but the noise and kiokness adds energy and character to this city. The buildings old and new stand next to each other, new within old all sat by the straits radiates an old world charm. There is still not much English spoken but the Turkish language adds to the ethinicity of the place. Now the history facinates me. The smell and the colour of the spices in the Grand Bazaar excites me. Its still not the Singapore I know and not even London, but it's Istanbul. So young and ignorant I was.
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