Good Bye 2007! Happy 2008!

2007. A year full of ups and downs. A year full of new experiences and challenges. A year of a failed relationship and even a new one too.

Started this blog exactly one year ago. Reading back all my entries now... it was kind of strange. Did I actually went through all that?! All these will served as lessons for me and hope in the new year, this blog will continue to help me in expressing myself and act as a therapeutic means for me.

We all have gone through a lot this year. We learned and we grow. We may not have the chance to talk about things and me not being there to show my support, but that doesn't mean I do not care. For all of us who are working our lives and world out in our own special way, and this I meant everyone and you know who you are. I am here and will always be here for you. No words and actions are enough to justify that. Be strong, chin up and keep smiling. We will all get there. We will.

This is my final entry for the year. Thank you all for reading and being part of my life.

Here to a better, happier and exciting New Year!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Always A Bride's Maid, Never the Bride

'Det got his Visa! We are ready to have our Civil Partnership next year! It's definitely worth every penny of it!' Dugan proclaimed!

Dugan is my landlord. English, in his 60s, very affluent, lovely gentleman.

Det is his bf. Laotian, in his 20s, do not speak many words of English, sweet guy.

Both of them met a couple of years ago in Laos when Dugan was there holidaying. After spending those time together, they kept in touch. Dugan even managed to organise everything for Det to come to London twice for the last two years for visits.

Now they are back in Thailand and I've just received the good news via email.

I am not here to judge, not to question their feelings for each other and the true meaning of Civil Partnership. So long as they are both happy, I am happy for both of them.

I only have one question. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WRONG?!

Oh well... Time to shop myself a bonnet!

Happy Days

It wasn't my camera playing trick! The karaoke picture was taken a week after Momo left for Osaka and me just came back from Thailand :-)

Mummy's Boy

This happened on my last day in Singapore:

Rushed home for dinner before my flight back to London. Mum offered to do my laundry from my Thailand trip the night before. Ensuring me that they should all be dried by the time I go.

Typical Singapore December weather, it rained the whole day.

Got home. 'Mum, are my stuff dried?'

'No...'

'How am I going bring them back?' Puff puff!

'They should be fine.'

'No! They are gonna smell when I get back.'

'Sigh...'

'Oh! Why the bandage? What happened to your arm?'

'I fell from the stool while trying to hang your trousers out to dry.'

.................

Just before I left, my sister said to me:

'Do try to come back for CNY. Well at least for a couple of weeks. You were hardly at home this time round. Mum do fuss a lot about you. Before, during and after you were here. She basically want the whole family to be together. We all have been told to be home as much as we can when you're back.'

It never occur to me that Mum and my family felt this way of me. Mum never said a word or complaint to me that I'm always out. Me growing up was very much on me own. I did my own thing... nobody cares. I left home and went to Sydney and now in London, I did it all on me own. Weather I'm around the family or not has never been an issue for me. For me only I supposed.

Just realised that I was never alone...

One Last Push

Can someone please tell me the purpose of having a holiday?

To rest and to recharge... but no one told me of the mess at work that I have to come back to?! And it's only 14 days to Christmas!

It's not as bad to be fair but I just want to make sure all deadlines are met by end of the week. I can do it!

Out And Proud

To be fair I've always wanted to come clean to my family, especially to my Mum, sister and my niece whom I'm most close to. But over the years, I've been living far away. My Life here is very much my own and independent. And very much so, I always believed that they knew. I mean come on! Look at me! The fact that I'm from a Asian Chinese family, we just chose not to vocalise our doubts and thoughts. We all grew up that way.

After a series of random 'ambushes' from Mum about girlfriends over the years, the most recent was just last week in front of the whole family at the dinner table, I've decided that enough is enough! I said to myself, if the time is right, I will speak to my sister first. Finally, on the very last night before I head to the airport for my flight back home, my sis was helping me to repack my luggage, I thought this is it!

'Hey do you get grief from Mum about me and GIRLFRIENDS?!'

'No. Just the usual but we just ignore her questioning really.'

'So you think I should tell her?' (I've to say I cheated. I've assumed that she knew. We both went to watch Grease seven times in the cinema together. I was only 7 then!)

(After a 2 second pause) 'No. You shouldn't. This will only make her worry of you more.' To some level, I agree with her. My Mum do fuss a LOT about me.

After, we just went on doing what we were doing and chatting like usual.

At the airport, I sent my sis a text.

'... Hey, thanks for being so understanding and making it easy or me... Really appreciate it!...'

'You take care and keep in touch.'

'Thanks I will.'

'xxx'

This may sound really weird and strange for some of you, but this is a all time first between my sister and I. We are close but never this open and expressive to each other.

I do feel lighter now. I do feel that I can be myself and no need of wearing a mask now, not to one of my family members at least. I know it's only a small step, long over due I must add but definitely a great significant one.

Thanks you sis. This means a lot to me.